No habla USDA… toro or (whatever the hell is Spanish for bear)?

Since the crew who posts USDA reports are too busy downloading “fail” YouTube videos or reading my blog posts to get their stuff done by 7:30… Let me summarize what you will read at 11:00. 



Simple enough, now onto the fun shit.

It just struck me tonight as I was thinking of crap to write to make all you laugh, Chicago has two professional sports teams, the bulls and the bears.  I’m probably the 842,593th person to realize this, but it seems significant in a town with the CBOT.  Most everyone… (ok I’ll go back, yes there is a hockey team in Chicago, but hockey isn’t a sport) always takes sides of a bull or bear. Now thinking of how that loose association works, how do you want to be remembered? Are you a “toro” or an “el bearo” <–see that’s not really Spanish, but nobody knows the difference anyway… Pinchehonky FTW


There is really only one famous bull, Michael “ballhog” Jordan. Yes, everyone loves to point at Scottie Pippen (and laugh), but really without Mike, he might as well have been Steve Alford without Bob Knight. Speaking of Bob Knight, Texas Tech at one time had the most badass coach selection person, they got Knight and Mike Leach in Lubbock… Best coaches in the country in their respective sports at the same school.  Then whoever it was, sobered up, looked around and realized they lived in a fucking desert, moved away, and some new guy proceeded to screw up the sports programs. And that about sums up the bullish association… a drunk in Lubbock who made good hires.


Staying with the athlete theme… Jim McMahon is probably the most famous bear besides that fatass whatshisname kitchen appliance. Bears everywhere idolize Jim McMahon and his goofy ass headbands. That’s all I can think of. So if you are a bear, you worship some washed-up has been ’80 flaming white-rapping Mormon.

I don’t really give a damn where everyone stands, I’m just like everyone else here, waiting for the wreck like some drunken redneck NASCAR fan.  There you have it folks, that should tide you over till the “real” report comes out.


P.S. HRW crop sucks, drought13 is for real, there isn’t enough corn for everyone, and anybody who grows cotton or soybeans is mental.


2 thoughts on “No habla USDA… toro or (whatever the hell is Spanish for bear)?

  1. Walter Payton. That is all. Except, of course, for you final statement. When do you suppose the fund managers (“smart” people) begin to realize how delicate our corn situation really is?

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