Here is my GD marketing plan….

I’m sick and tired of reading ag related articles that contain marketing advice. I don’t know who the hell their target audience is. (sure as fuck isn’t me)  They all like to use phrases like, “now that you are done with harvest, what to do with the bushels….”

I know what you do SELL THAT SHIT AND PAY THE BANK.  I guess I’m outside of the demo they are striving to impress, because every damn bushel of grain, every pound of beef, every ounce of sweat is spoken for.  I guess there is some rich mid-western farmer/rancher sitting on a lazy-boy stuffed with $20’s for padding, just wringing his hands about what to do with his unsold bushels of grain, but that isn’t the case here.

“We have you at 20% sold on your 2012 corn crop”…. Really?!? If I was concerned about what the fuck to do with unsold bushels, I can damn well guarantee you I’ve figured out how to play the game well enough that my marketing advice would not come from a publication that could double for toilet paper in Amish country.

“Hold off on sales until market rallies….”  Ok, genius, why didn’t you tell me to pull the trigger when prices were at an all time high? The truth-full answer is you didn’t want to be the asshole that make everyone sell early, better to be part of the “advisory” crowd that plays it safe on every occasion.

“Add to sales on rallies to XYZ level in XYZ futures contract….” So in reality, they are going to make a 20/20 hindsight call like it is going there again.  Nobody really gives a shit if it happens, they just want the opportunity to say “we told you so”.

My GD grain marketing plan is simple, try to forward contract 99.9999% of every bushel I raise for the absolute top in the market. Do I fail, hell yes. Is anybody knocking down the gate to get my grain marketing advice, not yet. Am I one day closer to understanding how to bullshit my way into people paying me for marketing advice, you bet.

Forward Sales FTW


You are 100% sold on bullshit for the 2012 marketing season, just wait until someting changes and I’ll tell you why you suck for not anticipating it, Hold off on 2013 bullshit for now.

P.S. Profarmer is 100% sold on 2012 corn, kudos to those guys for sticking their neck out and staying with it. They will probably cringe at my endorsement.


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