Screaming at the cows

Occasionally it’s nice to go outside and scream at the animals.  I don’t mean one of those nice, let’s scare the poor cows into running away for no reason, I mean a blood thirsty braveheart half blue-faced scream.  A scream that travels into the next pasture and startles the jackrabbit sitting in the shade of a yucca plant. A scream like your piss drunk in the campground at a NASCAR event and, well, you know what I mean if you’ve ever been there.

Why the hell is he screaming and what is he screaming about you ask? I have no clue, and neither do the cows.  The just know some psycho just entered their world and stomped the shit out of the fight or flight button. They will either run away or run flat over you. Either way, it’s guaranteed to give you more of a rush than any Wii fit game ever thought of.  In fact I suggest that you run screaming through a heard of old momma cows about one week after giving birth. (The cows giving birth, not human) And to make it more interesting, play tag with all the little calves along the way.  Now if you have doubts about the excitement you can experience while partaking in this event, just imagine Most Extreme Challenge (Japan TV show that, well never-mind) with a 1200 pound, raging mad hormonal woman running towards you whilst you slip and fall in a manure covered wet/slick feedground. Or something like that.

Point being, that moment when she is ready to destroy your every moment of being is when you really understand just how stupid of an idea this was.



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